When discussing happiness, one attitude/belief that deserves special mention is the art of accepting ourselves on an “as is, where is” basis. For us to be peacefully in relationship with our own humanness – our own combination of strengths, growing edges and unique quirks – means to have less stress from the source of our […]

Relationship & Families
Good Things Come in Old Packages
Right from an early age, we get a clear message from the world around us that being old isn’t so great, at least in Western society. Our mothers worry about getting wrinkles and use day creams, night creams, vitamin creams and highly scientific, or perhaps natural and organic, concoctions to cover up the visible signs […]
- January 12, 2015
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- Ageing Issues, Lifespan Development, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: An Aggressive Partner
Kaya and Mark have been in a relationship for a little over a year now and are attending couples counselling. Halfway through the session, the therapist asks for more information about the fights they are having. Kaya reports that Mark recently pushed her into a wall, and that he sometimes viciously pulls things like her […]
- November 10, 2014
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Counselling Theory & Process, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Tips to Support the Suicide-bereaved
If you have a friend, family member, or other acquaintance struggling with bereavement of suicide, how can you best offer support? What attitudes, translated into caring actions, can best facilitate the bereaved person’s coping in the immediate and short term, and their healing in the longer term? Because of the remaining societal stigma and also […]
- August 11, 2014
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- Loss & Grief, Relationship & Families, Self-harming & Suicide
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Counselling Dilemma: An Issue of Sexuality and Boundaries
A counsellor has been working with a client over a period of 9 months assisting with inner child therapy work. During the period, the client also talks about her relationship issues, sexuality as well as a relationship with another person. The counsellor, who also happens to be in a same sex relationship and going through […]
- July 22, 2014
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Counselling Theory & Process, Ethics & Legal Issues, LGBTI Issues, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: An “Emotionally Draining” Client
You have been working with a male client who has been experiencing anxiety and depression issues. He said that he came to see you after his wife asked him, because she said he was “suffocating” her when anxiety is a major feature in his life. The first session revealed that the anxiety may be persistent […]
- May 6, 2014
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Common Misconceptions About Suicide
The World Health Organization estimates that about million people die by suicide each year (World Health Organization, 2004). Understanding what drives people to take their own life is not easy for those who are not enmeshed in intolerable pain themselves; thus, myths and misconceptions tend to proliferate about this very final act. It is important […]
- May 6, 2014
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- Clinical Mental Health, Relationship & Families, Trauma & Disaster Mental Health
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Counselling Dilemma: Dual Relationship Boundaries
You have been working with a client for the last 3 months on rebuilding his life and re-integrating into society after having spent 6 years in prison for sex offences. For the last month, you have been working on issues of him frequently stealing money from his girlfriend’s wallet for drinks with his mates, him […]
- May 21, 2013
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- 15847
- Counselling Dilemmas, Counselling Theory & Process, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Social Support Development Skills
The saying that “no man is an island” seems not truer anywhere than in the realm of resilience. Happiness author and business coach Alvah Parker lists ten traits of resilient, happy people. In the very first one she notes that resilient people “are strong people who realize the importance of having a good social support […]
- February 28, 2013
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- 1991
- Multicultural Issues, Personal Effectiveness, Relationship & Families, Trauma & Disaster Mental Health
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Counselling Dilemma: Confidentiality Issues with a Teenager
You work as a counsellor for an organisation that offers counselling services to the general public. The free service is aimed at community members who cannot afford counselling services otherwise. You start counselling a young man who made an appointment with the service when he saw the advertisement in the local community newspaper. In your […]
- January 14, 2013
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- Children & Adolescents, Counselling Dilemmas, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Do You Know a Narcissist?
During the week of pre-wedding festivities and at the wedding itself, Clifford – the groom – was the life and soul of the party. He had agreed that the wedding could be held in the native country of his fiancé, Carlotta. His few family members and friends flew in for the week of gatherings. With […]
- November 2, 2012
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- Clinical Mental Health, Diagnosis & Treatment, Relationship & Families
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Defining Intimacy
“Intimacy demands the highest risk but yields the richest reward. Intimacy is the driving force which makes the painful grit of life worthwhile. Intimacy is the life-giving beam of light, whereby we discover each other from the inside out, never quite fully, never entirely, but enough to find an exquisite inner oasis that replenishes us […]
- June 28, 2012
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- Relationship & Families
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Communication Problems with Couples
Looking for maladaptive communication patterns is a common form of assessment that therapists use (Long & Young, 2007). Based on John Gottman’s theory popularly known as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse”, the following subheadings are common communication problems that most couples experience or participate in. They include; criticism and complaint, defensiveness, contempt, and stone […]
- September 7, 2011
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- Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: Issues with a Separated Couple
You are co-facilitating a mediation session for Patricia and Jonathan White (a separated couple in their early 40s, with two children). In your first session, Patricia expresses clear opinions regarding residency arrangements for the children. Patricia is also steadfast in her beliefs about the fair division of assets and cash. Jonathan is equally sure in […]
- October 21, 2010
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Principles of Mediation
Mediation is fast becoming a commonly accepted alternative form of dispute resolution. For most of us, we have probably heard of mediation as a tool for separating and divorcing couples to settle disputes before going to court or a process used in formal and informal industrial and workplace disputes, but there are elements of mediation […]
- October 19, 2010
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families, Workplace Issues
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