If you are in a long-term relationship, you may find yourself reminiscing about the past and asking yourself: what happened to the joy we used to feel in the honeymoon period? In this article, we focus on this question, and numerous strategies to help rebuild your romantic intimacy.
Couples
Infidelity: Helping the Betrayed Partner
He sits down and looks at you dolefully, his big eyes full of hurt and desperation. “I don’t know why she cheated on me,” he whispers hoarsely, “but this is the worst hurt I have ever felt. I don’t know how I will cope, or what it means for our kids. I guess my marriage […]
- December 17, 2019
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Counselling Dilemma: An Aggressive Partner
Kaya and Mark have been in a relationship for a little over a year now and are attending couples counselling. Halfway through the session, the therapist asks for more information about the fights they are having. Kaya reports that Mark recently pushed her into a wall, and that he sometimes viciously pulls things like her […]
- November 10, 2014
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Counselling Theory & Process, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Defining Intimacy
“Intimacy demands the highest risk but yields the richest reward. Intimacy is the driving force which makes the painful grit of life worthwhile. Intimacy is the life-giving beam of light, whereby we discover each other from the inside out, never quite fully, never entirely, but enough to find an exquisite inner oasis that replenishes us […]
- June 28, 2012
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Communication Problems with Couples
Looking for maladaptive communication patterns is a common form of assessment that therapists use (Long & Young, 2007). Based on John Gottman’s theory popularly known as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse”, the following subheadings are common communication problems that most couples experience or participate in. They include; criticism and complaint, defensiveness, contempt, and stone […]
- September 7, 2011
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- Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: Issues with a Separated Couple
You are co-facilitating a mediation session for Patricia and Jonathan White (a separated couple in their early 40s, with two children). In your first session, Patricia expresses clear opinions regarding residency arrangements for the children. Patricia is also steadfast in her beliefs about the fair division of assets and cash. Jonathan is equally sure in […]
- October 21, 2010
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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7 Ways to Improve Intimacy in Your Relationship
Good relationships don’t just happen. Many people have the attitude that, “If I have to work at it, then it can’t be the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction. There are […]
- July 7, 2010
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- Relationship & Families, Wellness
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Attachment Theory
Attachment theory has emerged as a leading tool for understanding the deeper roots of the dynamics in a close relationship. Originally developed to explain attachments of children to their caregivers, this theory has been especially fruitful in couple therapy as it helps to explain how adults come to depend on one another. Attachment is viewed […]
- June 18, 2010
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- Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families
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Behaviour Couple Therapy
Behaviour couple therapy is concerned about how people learn and unlearn dysfunctional behaviours. The model relies on cognitive behaviour theory whereby the general assumption is that changing the cognitions of an individual is critical to help clients overcome their problematic behaviours and bring about change. The theory also believes that behaviour is maintained by its […]
- June 8, 2010
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- Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families
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How Healthy Intimacy is Developed
Intimacy is one of the main ingredients of a successful, ‘ideal’ relationship along with passion and commitment (Hanna, 1991). Intimacy is a journey — it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship may damage intimacy. It is […]
- February 16, 2010
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Three Steps For Better Verbal Intimacy
There are hundreds of personality traits and tendencies that make a person acceptable for a successful long-term relationship. But according to relationship expert, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, there is one trait that is more important than all others. “Mastering verbal intimacy is the most important indicator of whether a person is right for you and […]
- February 3, 2010
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Strategic Therapy in Couple Counselling
Strategic therapy involves the therapist designing specific approaches to each of the presenting issues. Symptoms and problems are viewed as a couple’s dysfunctional way of communicating and specific strategies are used to alleviate these problems. The strategic therapist places great emphasis on the sequence of interactions between couples. Sequence of interactions refers to habitual ways […]
- February 1, 2010
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- Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families
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Counsellors, Couples and Conflict
Conflict is part of any interpersonal relationship and occurs as a result of differences in opinions. People differ in values, dreams, desires and perceptions. Therefore, we are all bound to encounter conflict at some point in our lives (Long & Young, 2007). Conflict can range from less serious mild disagreements to more intensely heated arguments. […]
- January 14, 2010
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Languages of Love
Gary Chapman (1995) in his benchmark book ‘The Five Languages of Love’, gives us a detailed look at how we may differ from our partner in the way we like to be shown that we are loved. Your love language probably differs from your spouse’s. Each of us speaks and understands one that makes it […]
- December 16, 2009
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The Meaning of Intimacy
Intimacy is a journey – it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship kills intimacy. Intimacy can also take many forms. One form of intimacy is cognitive or intellectual intimacy where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas […]
- December 15, 2009
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- Relationship & Families
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