You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. “Well,” you respond with enthusiasm, “I’m so excited right now. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality.” “Oh, a future barista,” says the other guest, swirling his drink. “I guess we can’t all get Ph.D.’s in science like I did.” You run into a […]
Communication
Manipulation: Recognising and Responding to It
You know the feeling. The person seems to be making a reasonable request, or advising you to do something “for your own good”, but inside your guts are completely churned up! What’s going on? The chances are that you are experiencing an attempt to manipulate you. Sadly, manipulation is rife in the real world and […]
- June 28, 2019
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- Relationship & Families, Stress Management, Wellness
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Compliments: Helping Clients Receive Them
You hand your friend the beautifully wrapped gift. In delight, your dear one excitedly strips off the bow and wrapping, lifts the box, and then says in a crestfallen voice, “I can’t wear wool; it makes me itch. Here, you can have it back.” Can you imagine how deflated and hurt you would feel if […]
- February 20, 2019
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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The Importance of Teamwork
Many people working in organisations try to avoid being part of a team. Perhaps the many levels of requirements for good teamwork place it in the “too-hard” basket. Yet there are many advantages accruing to both the organisation and the individual from successful teamwork. In this post, we look at some of these advantages. Greater […]
- September 6, 2017
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- Career Development, Group Work, Private Practice, Workplace Issues
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Networking for Success (In Counselling, In Life)
When one of our writing team had trouble finding work a number of years ago, she mentioned this to her friend, whose mother was visiting from another country. “Oh,” said the mother, a vivacious business person, “I guess you’ll have to join a few more clubs.” She made this statement before the phenomenon we know […]
- July 25, 2017
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- Career Development, Personal Effectiveness, Technology & Social Media
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Book Review: Cyberbullying: From Theory to Intervention
Völlink, T, Dehue, F & Mc Guckin, C. (2016) Cyberbullying: From theory to intervention (Current Issues in Social Psychology). United Kingdom: Routledge. Information communication technologies (ICT) are becoming a natural and normal part of day to day life for the average child and adolescent (Völlink, Dehue & Mc Guckin 2016). This first line from the […]
- July 29, 2016
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- 4566
- Book Reviews, Children & Adolescents, Ethics & Legal Issues, Technology & Social Media
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The Social Value of Being an Active Listener
Every year my siblings look forward to the visit my husband and I make to my country of origin. They are very glad to see me, but they can’t wait to see him. Why? When he is with each one, it is as if that person is the only human being on the planet. My […]
- December 15, 2015
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- 3731
- Personal Effectiveness, Relationship & Families
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Getting Smart with Giving Feedback
“Your meals are disgusting!” she shouted. A look of deep hurt flashed across his face before anger kicked in. “You don’t need to be cooked for anyway,” he retorted. “Your bottom’s gone way beyond cute!” Does anything familiar echo here? What about in the following exchange? “Darling,” he said, repeating his familiar compliment, “You’re beautiful.” […]
- October 12, 2015
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- 6889
- Counselling Theory & Process, Personal Effectiveness, Relationship & Families, Workplace Issues
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Reconnecting by Disconnecting
At a local café yesterday the sign said: “No free Wi-Fi. Talk to each other like before the internet.” What? And be there just for the coffee and conversation? We are more connected today than ever before (Facebook, for example, has more than 1.28 billion active users), but experts warn that we are also lonelier […]
- September 7, 2015
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- 2066
- Personal Effectiveness, Spirituality & Religion, Wellness
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The Best Gifts for Your Mother
Whether you love it or hate it, most people will agree that the mother-child relationship is one of the most significant relationships in a person’s life, affecting your wellbeing throughout your life. At the same time, many of us will not have the perfect relationship with our parents. In fact, one psychologist estimates that 85% […]
- May 7, 2015
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- Relationship & Families, Wellness
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Career Challenge Series: Tell Everyone You Know
One of the most common questions I have as a Career Coach and as and LCI workshop facilitator is, ‘How do I go about finding my ideal career?’ Most people know what they don’t want and that is usually where they are at right now. The first thing I say is: ‘If you’re unhappy in […]
- May 1, 2013
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- Career Development, Personal Effectiveness
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A Summary of Eight Counselling Microskills
In this post we summarise the following eight fundamental skills that alone or together can help a client to access their deepest thoughts or clarify their future dreams: Attending Behaviour Questioning Responding Noting and Reflecting Client Observation Confrontation Focusing Influencing Attending Behaviour Attending behaviours encourage clients to talk and show that the counsellor is interested […]
- August 9, 2012
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- 165518
- Counselling Theory & Process
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Communication Problems with Couples
Looking for maladaptive communication patterns is a common form of assessment that therapists use (Long & Young, 2007). Based on John Gottman’s theory popularly known as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse”, the following subheadings are common communication problems that most couples experience or participate in. They include; criticism and complaint, defensiveness, contempt, and stone […]
- September 7, 2011
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- Relationship & Families
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Values and Conflict Resolution
Every person has distinctive viewpoints that are equally valid (from where they stand) as the other party involved in the conflict. Each person’s viewpoint makes a contribution to the whole and requires consideration and respect in order to form a complete solution. This wider view can open up the communication transaction possibilities. It may require […]
- July 19, 2010
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Personal Effectiveness, Workplace Issues
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Romance, Intimacy and Conflict
Becoming a couple is one of the most complex relationships in adulthood. It is also well known that being a couple can contribute to personal growth and self awareness (Long & Young, 2007). Romantic couples are a unique type of relationship that is different from friendships and family bonds because it is based on romantic […]
- May 17, 2010
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- Relationship & Families
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