Counsellor to client mandated to come to counselling after an alleged domestic violence incident: “So, did you hit your wife?” Client: (Squirming in chair). “I love my wife. Do you think I would give a black eye to the woman I love? What happened was that there was this jar of honey that couldn’t be […]
Relationships
Dealing with Deception in Counselling
“You should always believe your clients,” said the counselling-training professor to the trainees, “and you should always disbelieve them” It’s possible that that advice – confusing and impossible as it seems to be – is useful not only for therapists listening to clients, but to any of us listening to a fellow human being. Even […]
- October 10, 2019
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- Addictions, Relationship & Families, Wellness
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Manipulation: Recognising and Responding to It
You know the feeling. The person seems to be making a reasonable request, or advising you to do something “for your own good”, but inside your guts are completely churned up! What’s going on? The chances are that you are experiencing an attempt to manipulate you. Sadly, manipulation is rife in the real world and […]
- June 28, 2019
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- Relationship & Families, Stress Management, Wellness
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Intimacy, Spirituality and Counselling
INTIMACY! Ok, now that we have your attention . . . let’s try another cue: SPIRITUALITY! And now, we’d like to know: what was the difference in your reaction to the two words? For many, intimacy conjures up juicy images of sexual trysts with the mythically perfect lover: one who attends to our every need […]
- February 26, 2019
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- Relationship & Families, Spirituality & Religion, Wellness
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Working with Angst in Counselling
What do you say to a client whose presenting issue is deep angst over the question of relationship? Whether the person is in a primary relationship and deeply unhappy, questioning whether to stay or to go, or the person longs for that primary relationship in order to feel happy and fulfilled, the issue is a […]
- January 29, 2019
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- Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families
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Right-relating – with a Diploma to Back You Up
Have you ever sat in session with a client pouring out their tale of woe about a certain relationship they’re in which is causing them untold amounts of stress and grief? Of course, you undoubtedly took it all in with supreme respectfulness, being able to see how the complained-about person’s behaviour was out-of-line, if not […]
- March 3, 2018
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- Career Development, Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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The Social Value of Being an Active Listener
Every year my siblings look forward to the visit my husband and I make to my country of origin. They are very glad to see me, but they can’t wait to see him. Why? When he is with each one, it is as if that person is the only human being on the planet. My […]
- December 15, 2015
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- Personal Effectiveness, Relationship & Families
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Getting Smart with Giving Feedback
“Your meals are disgusting!” she shouted. A look of deep hurt flashed across his face before anger kicked in. “You don’t need to be cooked for anyway,” he retorted. “Your bottom’s gone way beyond cute!” Does anything familiar echo here? What about in the following exchange? “Darling,” he said, repeating his familiar compliment, “You’re beautiful.” […]
- October 12, 2015
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- 3522
- Counselling Theory & Process, Personal Effectiveness, Relationship & Families, Workplace Issues
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Reconnecting by Disconnecting
At a local café yesterday the sign said: “No free Wi-Fi. Talk to each other like before the internet.” What? And be there just for the coffee and conversation? We are more connected today than ever before (Facebook, for example, has more than 1.28 billion active users), but experts warn that we are also lonelier […]
- September 7, 2015
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- Personal Effectiveness, Spirituality & Religion, Wellness
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What You Should Consider Before Ending a Relationship
Your phone rings. You grab it to answer but as the caller’s number flashes on the screen, you hesitate. It is someone you’re not sure you want to continue being friends with. Maybe the person has broken promises to you, cancelling get-togethers at the last minute, or perhaps — as entertaining as they can be […]
- July 1, 2015
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- Relationship & Families, Wellness
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The Best Gifts for Your Mother
Whether you love it or hate it, most people will agree that the mother-child relationship is one of the most significant relationships in a person’s life, affecting your wellbeing throughout your life. At the same time, many of us will not have the perfect relationship with our parents. In fact, one psychologist estimates that 85% […]
- May 7, 2015
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- Relationship & Families, Wellness
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A Healthy Heart is Both Physical and Emotional
We all know that we should exercise, eat sensibly, and generally take care of ourselves for good heart health. What might not be as clear is how good emotional health yields good health for the physical heart. With February being Heart Research month, it’s a great time to take a fresh look at how that […]
- February 20, 2015
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Wellness
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Counselling Dilemma: An Aggressive Partner
Kaya and Mark have been in a relationship for a little over a year now and are attending couples counselling. Halfway through the session, the therapist asks for more information about the fights they are having. Kaya reports that Mark recently pushed her into a wall, and that he sometimes viciously pulls things like her […]
- November 10, 2014
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- 10193
- Counselling Dilemmas, Counselling Theory & Process, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: An “Emotionally Draining” Client
You have been working with a male client who has been experiencing anxiety and depression issues. He said that he came to see you after his wife asked him, because she said he was “suffocating” her when anxiety is a major feature in his life. The first session revealed that the anxiety may be persistent […]
- May 6, 2014
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- 4322
- Counselling Dilemmas, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: Dual Relationship Boundaries
You have been working with a client for the last 3 months on rebuilding his life and re-integrating into society after having spent 6 years in prison for sex offences. For the last month, you have been working on issues of him frequently stealing money from his girlfriend’s wallet for drinks with his mates, him […]
- May 21, 2013
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- 12273
- Counselling Dilemmas, Counselling Theory & Process, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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