Conflict is part of any interpersonal relationship and occurs as a result of differences in opinions. People differ in values, dreams, desires and perceptions. Therefore, we are all bound to encounter conflict at some point in our lives (Long & Young, 2007). Conflict can range from less serious mild disagreements to more intensely heated arguments. […]
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Many parents who have come to the counselling session are prepared to speak with the counsellor to gain some insight into an issue or problem. But some parents do not understand why they need to be involved in the counselling sessions, and others know why, but do not want to be involved. Silent Some parents […]
Gary Chapman (1995) in his benchmark book ‘The Five Languages of Love’, gives us a detailed look at how we may differ from our partner in the way we like to be shown that we are loved. Your love language probably differs from your spouse’s. Each of us speaks and understands one that makes it […]
Intimacy is a journey — it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship kills intimacy. Intimacy can also take many forms. One form of intimacy is cognitive or intellectual intimacy where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas […]
“Mediation” is a means of resolving disputes between two or more parties who possess a genuine desire to achieve a mutually satisfying outcome. The counsellor in the process acts as the “mediator” by assisting the disputing parties to focus on a mutual problem, discuss possible solutions and agree upon a solution. Mediation is confidential, however […]
Marcia, 29 years of age, came to you six weeks ago with issues of poor self-esteem and lack of self worth. She has been married for 8 years to Michael, however in session she speaks little about him and when the conversation turn towards him she quickly tries to change the subject or issue. Although […]
Thomas is a 33 year old married man, who has recently become a father. He explains that he feels his self-esteem has been gradually deteriorating ever since he was married. He says that he can’t find reasons to enjoy life with his wife due to feelings of inadequacy as a husband. In his new role […]
We have previously talked about preventative measures such as scheduling family meetings, formulating rules and rituals, and how to discipline and communicate with our children and step-children. But what happens when we have done all these things, and problems still occur? Sometimes the route of all evil can be jealousy. There are many players in […]
One of the most common reasons for not-so-good step-family relationships is lack of communication. It is important to include the children in family processes such as formulating rules and new rituals. This is a great start! The next thing to do is to encourage communication. Talking is the best way to strengthen relationships, understand emotions […]
As a step-parent, sooner or later you will be reminded by your step-child that you are not their parent. One very important item to discuss between your partner and yourself is “who disciplines who?” In coming to a decision on discipline it is helpful to look at nuclear families who equally share this role. In […]
Communication is vital in any relationship. Understanding can be created and perhaps any hurt can be healed provided people can be kept in communication with each other. Therefore communication and problem solving are key areas to be considered when dealing with couples counselling. The counsellor’s aim here should be twofold: To help clients acquire skills […]
Communication has several key aspects which are all the more pertinent to people whose lives are entwined with each other and who need to maintain high levels of understanding. First of all, when speaking there are certain principles that come into play. Words have different meanings to different people and what we intend to say […]
Eric Berne, the pioneer of transactional analysis, made complex interpersonal transactions understandable when he recognised that the human personality is made up of three “ego states”. Each ego state is an entire system of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours from which we interact with one another. Parent, Adult and Child ego states and an interaction between […]
The following is an extract from an article published at the news.com.au website in November: “PHILANDERING husbands could soon be forced by the courts to keep paying for their mistresses after an affair ends. That is just one outcome set to arise from laws on broken de facto relationships that will take effect early next […]
The client, Helen, is 56 years old. She has been happily married for 32 years to Barry, who works for the local council. Helen and Barry’s first child, a boy, was stillborn. Helen fell pregnant again very quickly to help get over the loss. They now have two adult daughters, Vicky and Sharon. Vicky, the […]