Good relationships don’t just happen. Many people have the attitude that, “If I have to work at it, then it can’t be the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction. There are […]
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Attachment theory has emerged as a leading tool for understanding the deeper roots of the dynamics in a close relationship. Originally developed to explain attachments of children to their caregivers, this theory has been especially fruitful in couple therapy as it helps to explain how adults come to depend on one another. Attachment is viewed […]
Behaviour couple therapy is concerned about how people learn and unlearn dysfunctional behaviours. The model relies on cognitive behaviour theory whereby the general assumption is that changing the cognitions of an individual is critical to help clients overcome their problematic behaviours and bring about change. The theory also believes that behaviour is maintained by its […]
“When the wine goes in, strange things come out.” ~ Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799 Alcohol consumption is part of our daily lives. It is used and enjoyed in most developed and developing countries around the world. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant even though it is commonly mistaken to be […]
Becoming a couple is one of the most complex relationships in adulthood. It is also well known that being a couple can contribute to personal growth and self awareness (Long & Young, 2007). Romantic couples are a unique type of relationship that is different from friendships and family bonds because it is based on romantic […]
Intimacy is one of the main ingredients of a successful, ‘ideal’ relationship along with passion and commitment (Hanna, 1991). Intimacy is a journey — it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship may damage intimacy. It is […]
There are hundreds of personality traits and tendencies that make a person acceptable for a successful long-term relationship. But according to relationship expert, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, there is one trait that is more important than all others. “Mastering verbal intimacy is the most important indicator of whether a person is right for you and […]
Strategic therapy involves the therapist designing specific approaches to each of the presenting issues. Symptoms and problems are viewed as a couple’s dysfunctional way of communicating and specific strategies are used to alleviate these problems. The strategic therapist places great emphasis on the sequence of interactions between couples. Sequence of interactions refers to habitual ways […]
Parents can play the key role in initiating and generating behaviour change in their children. Parents have the potential to inspire their children directly (by applying reinforcers and other behaviour modification strategies) and indirectly (by providing a safe, supportive and encouraging environment). As counsellors, working with parents can enhance our potential to promote successful outcomes […]
Conflict is part of any interpersonal relationship and occurs as a result of differences in opinions. People differ in values, dreams, desires and perceptions. Therefore, we are all bound to encounter conflict at some point in our lives (Long & Young, 2007). Conflict can range from less serious mild disagreements to more intensely heated arguments. […]
Many parents who have come to the counselling session are prepared to speak with the counsellor to gain some insight into an issue or problem. But some parents do not understand why they need to be involved in the counselling sessions, and others know why, but do not want to be involved. Silent Some parents […]
Gary Chapman (1995) in his benchmark book ‘The Five Languages of Love’, gives us a detailed look at how we may differ from our partner in the way we like to be shown that we are loved. Your love language probably differs from your spouse’s. Each of us speaks and understands one that makes it […]
Intimacy is a journey — it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship kills intimacy. Intimacy can also take many forms. One form of intimacy is cognitive or intellectual intimacy where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas […]
“Mediation” is a means of resolving disputes between two or more parties who possess a genuine desire to achieve a mutually satisfying outcome. The counsellor in the process acts as the “mediator” by assisting the disputing parties to focus on a mutual problem, discuss possible solutions and agree upon a solution. Mediation is confidential, however […]
Marcia, 29 years of age, came to you six weeks ago with issues of poor self-esteem and lack of self worth. She has been married for 8 years to Michael, however in session she speaks little about him and when the conversation turn towards him she quickly tries to change the subject or issue. Although […]