Intimacy is a journey – it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship kills intimacy. Intimacy can also take many forms. One form of intimacy is cognitive or intellectual intimacy where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas […]

Relationship & Families
What is Mediation?
“Mediation” is a means of resolving disputes between two or more parties who possess a genuine desire to achieve a mutually satisfying outcome. The counsellor in the process acts as the “mediator” by assisting the disputing parties to focus on a mutual problem, discuss possible solutions and agree upon a solution. Mediation is confidential, however […]
- December 1, 2009
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: A Dominant Male Partner
Marcia, 29 years of age, came to you six weeks ago with issues of poor self-esteem and lack of self worth. She has been married for 8 years to Michael, however in session she speaks little about him and when the conversation turn towards him she quickly tries to change the subject or issue. Although […]
- October 23, 2009
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Case Study: Using REBT
Thomas is a 33 year old married man, who has recently become a father. He explains that he feels his self-esteem has been gradually deteriorating ever since he was married. He says that he can’t find reasons to enjoy life with his wife due to feelings of inadequacy as a husband. In his new role […]
- September 7, 2009
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- Case Studies, Relationship & Families
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Overcoming Problems with Step Children
We have previously talked about preventative measures such as scheduling family meetings, formulating rules and rituals, and how to discipline and communicate with our children and step-children. But what happens when we have done all these things, and problems still occur? Sometimes the route of all evil can be jealousy. There are many players in […]
- August 14, 2009
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- Children & Adolescents, Loss & Grief, Relationship & Families
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Building Relationships with Step Children
One of the most common reasons for not-so-good step-family relationships is lack of communication. It is important to include the children in family processes such as formulating rules and new rituals. This is a great start! The next thing to do is to encourage communication. Talking is the best way to strengthen relationships, understand emotions […]
- August 13, 2009
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- Children & Adolescents, Relationship & Families
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Discipline with Step Children
As a step-parent, sooner or later you will be reminded by your step-child that you are not their parent. One very important item to discuss between your partner and yourself is “who disciplines who?” In coming to a decision on discipline it is helpful to look at nuclear families who equally share this role. In […]
- August 10, 2009
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- Children & Adolescents, Relationship & Families
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Communication and Relationship Counselling
Communication is vital in any relationship. Understanding can be created and perhaps any hurt can be healed provided people can be kept in communication with each other. Therefore communication and problem solving are key areas to be considered when dealing with couples counselling. The counsellor’s aim here should be twofold: To help clients acquire skills […]
- July 30, 2009
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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Communication Drills for Relationship Counselling
Communication has several key aspects which are all the more pertinent to people whose lives are entwined with each other and who need to maintain high levels of understanding. First of all, when speaking there are certain principles that come into play. Words have different meanings to different people and what we intend to say […]
- July 24, 2009
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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An Introduction to Ego States
Eric Berne, the pioneer of transactional analysis, made complex interpersonal transactions understandable when he recognised that the human personality is made up of three “ego states”. Each ego state is an entire system of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours from which we interact with one another. Parent, Adult and Child ego states and an interaction between […]
- June 22, 2009
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families
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Social Issue: Maintenance for Mistresses
The following is an extract from an article published at the news.com.au website in November: “PHILANDERING husbands could soon be forced by the courts to keep paying for their mistresses after an affair ends. That is just one outcome set to arise from laws on broken de facto relationships that will take effect early next […]
- June 12, 2009
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- Ethics & Legal Issues, Relationship & Families
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Counselling Dilemma: A Family “Break-Up”
The client, Helen, is 56 years old. She has been happily married for 32 years to Barry, who works for the local council. Helen and Barry’s first child, a boy, was stillborn. Helen fell pregnant again very quickly to help get over the loss. They now have two adult daughters, Vicky and Sharon. Vicky, the […]
- May 28, 2009
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- Counselling Dilemmas, Relationship & Families
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Dealing with Aggressive Children
Children with aggressive behaviour constitute one of the most common and difficult challenges for parents, particularly for young parents. To work on this issue it is crucial that parents have developed a relationship (with the child) based on solid communication and trust. Parents must be willing to take a step back from the situation and […]
- March 2, 2009
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- Children & Adolescents, Creativity in Counselling, Relationship & Families
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Child Abuse and Neglect: Case Planning and Review
With the assessment complete, the next step to ensure that the needs of the child and family are met is case planning. Essentially case planning is the process of setting goals and building in strategies to meet those goals. The counsellor must work with the child and/or family to decide upon the goals that are […]
- February 2, 2009
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- Children & Adolescents, Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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Child Abuse and Neglect: Intervention
There is not a clear cut off line from where the assessment ends and the intervention begins in child and family work. Following is a number of approaches to intervention that have been selected because they are consistent with values of self-determination, respect, dignity empowerment and social justice: values commonly drawn upon in child and […]
- January 28, 2009
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- Children & Adolescents, Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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