According to Field ([2002-2004, Web site (accessed 21/08/06): www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm): ‘Bullying causes injury to health and makes you ill. How many of these symptoms do you have? Constant high levels of stress and anxiety Frequent illness such as viral infections especially flu and glandular fever, colds, coughs, chest, ear, nose and throat infections (stress plays havoc with […]
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Let’s identify some key elements of a bully in the following list, adapted from Witheridge’s (2001: 4) outline of open versus hidden bullying. Open Bullying Behaviours Physical violence Shouting or swearing at someone in public or private Instant rages over trivial matter Humiliating someone in front of colleagues Ignoring or isolating someone in public deliberately […]
Brinkman and Kirshner (2003: 7) argue that depending upon goals and intentions of people in an organisation for example certain personality characteristics and behaviours emerge depending upon what a task may entail. They claim that there are 4 intentions that people use in their lives in order to function in undertaking tasks. They include: Get […]
Source: www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm “Constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature — the triviality, regularity and frequency betray bullying; often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not; often, the criticism is based on distortion, misrepresentation or fabrication. […]
“Bullying is a compulsive need to displace aggression and is achieved by the expression of inadequacy (social, personal, interpersonal, behavioural, professional) by projection of that inadequacy onto others through control and subjugation (criticism, exclusion, isolation etc). Bullying is sustained by abdication of responsibility (denial, counter-accusation, pretence of victimhood) and perpetuated by a climate of fear, […]
As discussed earlier, one of three events occur after the discovery of an affair. For some, nothing changes in the relationship and the affair is either ignored, denied, repeated, or continued. The affair can unfortunately also end a relationship depending on the intensity and length of the affair and the values of the parties involved. […]
An Asian couple has been referred to a counsellor for marriage guidance. The impact of migrating to Australia has taken its toll on their relationship. In the session, the husband seems quite controlled and reserved, whereas the wife cries often but says little. The counsellor is a novice in the area of multicultural difference, but […]
Have you had to deal with infidelity? How did you cope? This post is directed to those who are facing such situation or still suffer from a past instance. It is a personal and up-close perspective aiming to support those in need. Others can use this information as reference to help a friend, or to […]
“Love is many things: the protective love of a mother for her child, the passion of a couple newly in love, the deep love of long-term companions and the divine love of God, to name just a few. Some cultures have 10 or more words for different forms of love, and poets and songwriters always […]
The loss resulting from infidelity is often followed by grief. This grief can be commonly divided into 5 stages. Denial On discovery of the affair, there is an initial period of shock and maybe denial. This may include making excuses for the betrayer or believing only what you want to hear. This is a perfectly […]
AIPC Graduate Maureen Williams shares her story… “I graduated as a counsellor with AIPC after 3 years study. I had always been intrigued by the concept of a counsellor as a helper of people, and I found that university studies did not suit my timeframe and were not very user friendly. At age 48 I […]
With infidelity come consequences. Many people are impacted. If we were to step outside and look in for a moment, we may be able to see just how many people are affected. Firstly there is the betrayer. He/she has learnt to be an actor in order to not be suspected. After being found out, feelings […]
How many times have you heard people say “it will never happen to us”? Maybe you have even said it yourself. It is widely thought that affairs only occur in bad or unhealthy relationships, but that too is a myth. Sadly, no one is immune to infidelity. Monogamous relationships are what most people say they […]
Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it a little easier. Was it a one night stand or a long term affair? Was it due to mid life crisis or an act of retaliation? Is there a sexual addiction or did he/she want the marriage to end? There are several types of affairs which […]
You have been providing relationship counselling to a married couple for 4 months. The couple (Jeremy and Lucinda) have identified a number of issues, including a lack of trust, intimacy and communication. Jeremy had been involved in a brief affair, which he had confessed to his wife. It is largely this issue on which Jeremy […]