“Love is many things: the protective love of a mother for her child, the passion of a couple newly in love, the deep love of long-term companions and the divine love of God, to name just a few. Some cultures have 10 or more words for different forms of love, and poets and songwriters always […]
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The loss resulting from infidelity is often followed by grief. This grief can be commonly divided into 5 stages. Denial On discovery of the affair, there is an initial period of shock and maybe denial. This may include making excuses for the betrayer or believing only what you want to hear. This is a perfectly […]
AIPC Graduate Maureen Williams shares her story… “I graduated as a counsellor with AIPC after 3 years study. I had always been intrigued by the concept of a counsellor as a helper of people, and I found that university studies did not suit my timeframe and were not very user friendly. At age 48 I […]
With infidelity come consequences. Many people are impacted. If we were to step outside and look in for a moment, we may be able to see just how many people are affected. Firstly there is the betrayer. He/she has learnt to be an actor in order to not be suspected. After being found out, feelings […]
How many times have you heard people say “it will never happen to us”? Maybe you have even said it yourself. It is widely thought that affairs only occur in bad or unhealthy relationships, but that too is a myth. Sadly, no one is immune to infidelity. Monogamous relationships are what most people say they […]
Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it a little easier. Was it a one night stand or a long term affair? Was it due to mid life crisis or an act of retaliation? Is there a sexual addiction or did he/she want the marriage to end? There are several types of affairs which […]
You have been providing relationship counselling to a married couple for 4 months. The couple (Jeremy and Lucinda) have identified a number of issues, including a lack of trust, intimacy and communication. Jeremy had been involved in a brief affair, which he had confessed to his wife. It is largely this issue on which Jeremy […]
There is no simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in the relationship or it could relate to something in your partner’s past. You may never truly know why it happened. Some believe that in order to reduce anxiety in relationships, we focus on a third party […]
There are various losses associated with infidelity and various feelings which are individual to you at this time. Don’t expect these feelings to disappear overnight. Below are some Do’s and Don’ts that you might like to consider: DON’T make any major decisions right now. This is not the time to end your relationship or sell […]
Whether the relationship ends or not, when infidelity occurs some serious losses are felt. Losses can be physical or symbolic and may include: Loss of trust Loss of security Loss of hope/dreams Loss of faith Loss of intimacy and affection Loss of self esteem The obvious loss is that of trust in the other partner. […]
AIPC Graduate Philomena Bateman shares her story… “Diana Ross said “You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You’ve got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.” I finished the Diploma of Professional Counselling in 2005. The feeling of achievement I have as I look […]
What exactly defines infidelity? Most of us believe that infidelity is the act of intercourse occurring with an external person outside a relationship. Interestingly, feelings of hurt and betrayal can be equally intense on discovering that your partner has been having secret regular coffee dates with a work colleague. People Magazine asked readers to define […]
You have a long-term client who is suffering from liver failure. Trevor is 45 years of age and was diagnosed with this condition approximately 3 years ago. His state of health is rapidly deteriorating and he has recently been hospitalised, awaiting a transplant. Trevor has a rare blood type and all attempts to acquire a […]
If you are not yet ready to do a lot of loving things for yourself that will make you feel better and help you inch back toward your pre-breakup level of self-esteem or better, you may be feeling self-destructive. That’s normal. This section is about passing some time safely. Drugs and Alcohol You know your […]
What happens for children when their parents separate? Children can react very differently to separation or divorce. The way they react depends on a number of things, but two important factors are the age of the child and the degree of conflict and animosity between the parents. There is no doubt this is a stressful […]