If you believe that your child is a victim of bullying, you are most probably experiencing two reactions. Firstly, outrage, coupled with other emotions such as confusion and guilt. Secondly, this may raise memories of your own experiences with bullying – either as being bullied, as the bully or as a bystander. It is absolutely natural if you are experiencing these memories and feelings.

However, it is better to acknowledge them and use them to your benefit, rather then letting your feelings filter through onto your child and their need for support.


  1. Try to remember any experiences you had as a child. Whether you may have bullied a child, been bullied or a by-stander.
  2. Take some time to reflect on your feelings about your child’s situation. If you find this difficult, try using dot points.

How Not To React

If your reaction is to seek justice for your child, you are not alone. However you need to think about what this will accomplish: not really much at all!

Do not:

  1. Storm into school demanding action
  2. Confront the child/children who are bulling your child
  3. Confront the child/children’s parents who are bulling your child

These actions will not change your child’s situation. Instead it will take attention away from the problem and place the attention onto you. It may also fuel the situation further. You may be seen as aggressive and you may be banned from the school premises. In the worst case scenario the school may feel the need to contact the police.