Good relationships don’t just happen. Many people have the attitude that, “If I have to work at it, then it can’t be the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction. There are […]
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Struggling to find time in your daily life? Consider the following proven time management principles and techniques. The 80/20 rule The 80/20 principle is also known as the Pareto principle. It is based on the ideas of an Italian economist called Vilfredo Pareto. Pareto was a French—Italian economist and philosopher who lived between 1848 and […]
It is important to be aware of the way in which stress may be impacting on you and your counselling work. Which aspects of you are more susceptible to the influence of stress? Relaxation strategies “What do you find relaxing? Is it dancing, art, meditation, fishing, going for a walk with friends, reading a book, […]
Humour can be a powerful and effective mechanism for coping with stress, especially when combined with other means of stress reduction. The real power of humour and laughter shows up when you learn to use it in stressful situations. It keeps things in perspective, helps dispel negative emotions, and puts you in a frame of […]
Allen (2001) explains that the essence of time management is completing decisions and determining action steps about the things that capture our psychological and physical space. To cope with everyday demands, Allen has suggested a processing sequence of work and tasks: Collect all situations, projects and tasks that need to be done, including those that […]
Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs directly, openly and honestly, assert one’s rights whilst respecting the feelings and rights of another (Lloyd, 1998). Non-assertive individuals may be passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. Passive clients appear to be unconcerned with their own rights and are more likely to allow others to […]
So far (read previous posts here) we have identified some specific reactions to your loss, secondary and prior losses and looked at various feelings which are individual to you at this time. Don’t expect these feelings to disappear overnight. Below are some helpful tips that you might like to consider: Look after yourself. You may […]
Leisha is a 17 year old girl who has a young infant daughter Tippa aged 15 months. Her partner left the relationship before Leisha had the baby and hasn’t been seen or heard of since. Leisha lives at home with her parents. Initially Leisha was very scared about having a baby, and although she went […]
Experience and the literature inform us that transitions or changes in life are inevitable and you can fight them, flee from them or preferably accept that you need to prepare for and adapt to the changes in some way. Having confidence in being able to plan for and adapt to change, by having skills and […]
It is a bit difficult to define ineffective options simply because it is easier to describe those situations where people have ineffective options to react to change. Nonetheless some ineffective options may include: Denying that a change is occurring; Not being aware of one’s environment — of change that is emerging over time; Not planning […]
People often avoid change; opting for predictability and control, rather than the more stoic, flowing style of embracing life’s challenges. But life is a dynamic balance of negatives and positives, and focusing on the positive aspects of change can be the difference between growing under duress and thriving in any environment, or experiencing continuing stress […]
The body tends to respond in an innate flight or fight response when faced with an anger-provoking situation. That means that reactions within your body call you to ask yourself whether you should leave the situation (flight) or use your newly produced adrenalin and cortisones to get through (fight). The body often responds to anger […]
“What we think affects the way we feel. Distorted thinking can increase the likelihood of negative emotions such as anger, while calming or challenging thoughts can reduce the impact of these feelings. Self-calming statements are thoughts that can be (1) prepared in advance to anticipate and cope with a situation or trigger; (2) used to […]
Once appraisals of triggers have been identified, it can be beneficial for both counsellor and client to consider the appraisal and evaluate its validity. This can be achieved through a number of questioning techniques (as outlined below). Examining the evidence What is the evidence to suggest that the appraisal is accurate? What is the evidence […]
To begin the management of anger, both counsellor and client require an understanding of the client’s expressive patterns. This can be achieved by encouraging clients to complete an Anger Episode Record. This is a record of each trigger, appraisal, experience, expressive pattern and outcome the client encounters during an established time period. Trigger The target […]