Counsellor to client mandated to come to counselling after an alleged domestic violence incident: “So, did you hit your wife?” Client: (Squirming in chair). “I love my wife. Do you think I would give a black eye to the woman I love? What happened was that there was this jar of honey that couldn’t be […]
relationship
Dealing with Deception in Counselling
“You should always believe your clients,” said the counselling-training professor to the trainees, “and you should always disbelieve them” It’s possible that that advice — confusing and impossible as it seems to be — is useful not only for therapists listening to clients, but to any of us listening to a fellow human being. Even […]
- October 10, 2019
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- Addictions, Relationship & Families, Wellness
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Lying: Life Skill or Lousy Habit?
Johnny sings a song to his mum and asks her how well she thought he sang. In reality, Mum likens Johnny’s voice to, as Simon Cowell once said of a talent show participant, “the sound a cat makes after it falls off the roof before it hits the ground”. Does Mum say this to Johnny, […]
- September 30, 2019
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- 6530
- Addictions, Relationship & Families
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The Rise and Rise of the Selfie
Do any of these statements apply to you? How about to anyone you know, including any clients? “I gain enormous attention by sharing my selfies on social media.” “Taking different selfie poses helps increase my social status.” “Taking more selfies improves my mood and makes me feel happy.” “I become a strong member of my […]
- September 17, 2019
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- 6401
- Addictions, Children & Adolescents, Technology & Social Media
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Hope, Heroes and Counselling
On January 15, 2009, Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger and his co-pilot Jeffrey Skiles landed U.S. Airways Flight 1549 in New York’s Hudson River after both engines were disabled by a bird strike. All 155 people on board survived. While some of that successful outcome was later attributed to good fortune, much commendation rightly went to […]
- July 25, 2019
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- Creativity in Counselling, Spirituality & Religion
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Counselling: From Resistance to Acceptance
Your 39-year-old female client seats herself and looks at you with frustration. It’s been many months now since she was diagnosed with the neurodegenerative condition, but she just can’t accept it; life is becoming impossible. Your 20-something male client suffered a relational breakup seven months ago; this was his “love of my life” and he […]
- July 12, 2019
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- Loss & Grief, Relationship & Families, Spirituality & Religion
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Manipulation: Recognising and Responding to It
You know the feeling. The person seems to be making a reasonable request, or advising you to do something “for your own good”, but inside your guts are completely churned up! What’s going on? The chances are that you are experiencing an attempt to manipulate you. Sadly, manipulation is rife in the real world and […]
- June 28, 2019
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- Relationship & Families, Stress Management, Wellness
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Expectations and Goals in Clinical Supervision
What are your expectations about what will happen in your clinical supervision, and what you will get from it? Are you able to identify your greatest needs to meet in the process? How do you name the short-, medium-, and long-range goals that you will attempt to achieve in supervision? These questions are important to […]
- April 24, 2019
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- Private Practice, Supervision
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Digital Self-harm and Adolescent Angst
“U R ugly, fat, and stupid.” “The world is too good a place for U – ur pathetic.” “Why don’t you just kill ur self and make us all happier?” These hurtful, horrible messages and many others like them are well-known to kids and teens who have been cyberbullied. Parents, teachers, counsellors, and school authorities, […]
- March 18, 2019
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- 9039
- Children & Adolescents, Clinical Mental Health, Self-harming & Suicide, Technology & Social Media
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Intimacy, Spirituality and Counselling
INTIMACY! Ok, now that we have your attention . . . let’s try another cue: SPIRITUALITY! And now, we’d like to know: what was the difference in your reaction to the two words? For many, intimacy conjures up juicy images of sexual trysts with the mythically perfect lover: one who attends to our every need […]
- February 26, 2019
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- Relationship & Families, Spirituality & Religion, Wellness
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Compliments: Helping Clients Receive Them
You hand your friend the beautifully wrapped gift. In delight, your dear one excitedly strips off the bow and wrapping, lifts the box, and then says in a crestfallen voice, “I can’t wear wool; it makes me itch. Here, you can have it back.” Can you imagine how deflated and hurt you would feel if […]
- February 20, 2019
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- Counselling Theory & Process, Relationship & Families
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Working with Angst in Counselling
What do you say to a client whose presenting issue is deep angst over the question of relationship? Whether the person is in a primary relationship and deeply unhappy, questioning whether to stay or to go, or the person longs for that primary relationship in order to feel happy and fulfilled, the issue is a […]
- January 29, 2019
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- Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families
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Forgiveness Work: Issues and Modalities to Use
Many people view a new year as a clean slate: a chance to start afresh, including emotionally. For some this includes healing from past hurts which may have kept the person from moving forward in life. If a client comes to you with forgiveness on her mind — and, perhaps, whether she should or should […]
- January 7, 2019
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- 8320
- Counselling Therapies, Relationship & Families, Stress Management, Trauma & Disaster Mental Health
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Intention to Realisation: Working with Will
The holidays are finished, the relatives have gone home, and your clients are trickling back in, many of them armed with an awesome set of resolutions for what they plan to accomplish. A brand new year is like a clean slate: hopeful, invigorating and full of promise. But the road to realisation of goals is […]
- January 2, 2019
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- 5581
- Counselling Theory & Process, Counselling Therapies, Personal Effectiveness, Spirituality & Religion
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Addressing Paranoia in Counselling
“The way my manager looked at me when I turned in the report — I know he’s planning to sack me soon.” “I can by the way she kissed me; my wife is cheating on me for sure!” “That horrid tart dating my dad is just after his money — to cut my brother and […]
- December 17, 2018
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- 18142
- Clinical Mental Health, Diagnosis & Treatment, Relationship & Families
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