Communication

The Best Gifts for Your Mother

Whether you love it or hate it, most people will agree that the mother-child relationship is one of the most significant relationships in a person’s life, affecting your wellbeing throughout your life. At the same time, many of us will not have the perfect relationship with our parents. In fact, one psychologist estimates that 85% […]

A Summary of Eight Counselling Microskills

In this post we summarise the following eight fundamental skills that alone or together can help a client to access their deepest thoughts or clarify their future dreams: Attending Behaviour Questioning Responding Noting and Reflecting Client Observation Confrontation Focusing Influencing Attending Behaviour Attending behaviours encourage clients to talk and show that the counsellor is interested […]

Communication Problems with Couples

Looking for maladaptive communication patterns is a common form of assessment that therapists use (Long & Young, 2007). Based on John Gottman’s theory popularly known as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse”, the following subheadings are common communication problems that most couples experience or participate in. They include; criticism and complaint, defensiveness, contempt, and stone […]

Romance, Intimacy and Conflict

Becoming a couple is one of the most complex relationships in adulthood. It is also well known that being a couple can contribute to personal growth and self awareness (Long & Young, 2007). Romantic couples are a unique type of relationship that is different from friendships and family bonds because it is based on romantic […]

Motivational Interviewing Techniques

The fundamental approach to motivational interviewing interactions?contains the following four elements: Open-ended questions Affirmations Reflective listening Summaries Motivational interviewing creates an acronym OARS from this and the goal in using OARS is to assist the person to move forward, creating change talk and motivation from within. This change talk contains statements that the client may […]

The Value of Empathy in Counselling

A requirement for being an effective counsellor is being able to practice and impart the skill of empathy in the client-counsellor interaction. Being empathetic ensures you are listening and dealing with the clients concerns as they present them. You are not judging them. In this post we’ll look at how empathy can assist counsellors when […]

Grief Counselling through Questioning

Questioning is used for therapeutic assessment and to facilitate the client’s expression of emotion, which is a crucial part of the therapeutic process in complicated grief counselling. Examples of questions and their purposes are outlined below. Questions “Can you tell me about the death?” “What happened that day”? “Where were you when you found out […]

How Healthy Intimacy is Developed

Intimacy is one of the main ingredients of a successful, ‘ideal’ relationship along with passion and commitment (Hanna, 1991). Intimacy is a journey — it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship may damage intimacy. It is […]

Parenting Styles in Counselling

Many parents who have come to the counselling session are prepared to speak with the counsellor to gain some insight into an issue or problem. But some parents do not understand why they need to be involved in the counselling sessions, and others know why, but do not want to be involved. Silent Some parents […]

Counselling Microskills: Influencing

Influencing is part of all counselling. Even if the counsellor only used attending skills to actively listen to the client, being genuinely heard by another person can influence a person’s behaviour. Influencing skills take a more direct approach to client change, with specific alternatives for actions that can promote change quicker and in some cases […]

Counselling Microskills: Client Observation

By accurately observing non-verbal behaviour, a counsellor can gauge the affect her/his words and actions have upon the client. Skilled client observation also allows the counsellor to identify discrepancies or incongruities in the client’s or their own communication. When is it used? Observation is a skill that is utilised throughout the entire counselling interview. Examples […]

Counselling Microskills: Confrontation

Generally speaking the term confrontation means challenging another person over a discrepancy or disagreement. However, confrontation as a counselling skill is an attempt by the counsellor to gently bring about awareness in the client of something that they may have overlooked or avoided. There are three steps to confrontation in counselling. The first step involves […]

Counselling Microskills: Responding, Noting and Reflecting

Accurate Responding allows the counsellor to confirm with the client that they are being heard correctly. Noting and reflecting are used to bring out underlying feelings. When are they used? Responding is useful throughout all stages of a counselling interview. It helps the counsellor to clarify and encourage clients’ stories. This is also a great […]