Types of Affairs
Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it a little easier. Was it a one night stand or a long term affair? Was it due to mid life crisis or an act of retaliation? Is there a sexual addiction or did he/she want the marriage to end?
There are several types of affairs which include:
- The curiosity affair — where one is bored and curious about the excitement of having an external relationship.
- The unintended affair — a simultaneous attraction occurs in an environment outside the relationship.
- The compulsive affair — often initiated by one with a risk taking and adventurous personality.
- The retaliative affair — is motivated by revenge and serves the purpose of equalising the wrongs. But do two wrongs equal a right?
- The split self affair — this happens when the needs of others are put before those of oneself, and the deprivation catches up. Usually a long term affair because decisions are avoided.
- The distance regulator — the relationship is usually over but tolerated for reasons which may include the children and security.
- Out the door affair — an “excuse” for leaving the relationship. This occurs when the relationship is over for the betrayer but wants a quick way out. Often clues are left for a quick discovery.
- Empty nest affairs — where couples have lived their lives around the children and have found that the empty nest is too empty and lonely.
- Sexual addiction — when the couple’s sexual drive is not equalised and the betrayer goes in search of sexual satisfaction outside the relationship.
- Intimacy avoiders — being intimate with someone outside the relationship helps retain distance from your partner. It is a means to staying absent.
- Conflict avoidance — an affair to control and diffuse anger, and avoid arguments and difference of opinion.