There is no simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in the relationship or it could relate to something in your partner’s past. You may never truly know why it happened. Some believe that in order to reduce anxiety in relationships, we focus on a third party to whom we unconsciously pull into the situation. This is called “triangular relationships” which serve to keep the issues evident in the marital or original relationship, underground.

Usually there are three forces that can play a part. These are the forces within an individual that pull them toward affairs, the force within an individual that push them toward affairs, and lastly societal factors. We will go through these individually.

Forces which pull people toward affairs include attraction to others for reasons of power, admiration, companionship and sexual attraction. Excitement, risk, curiosity and falling in love are other forces that can be described as pull forces.

Forces within the individual which push them toward affairs include having a desire to escape or fill the gaps in a relationship, boredom or the need for punishment. Having the need to prove one’s attractiveness or self worth, or a desire for attention are other push forces.

Societal factors include movies, TV shows and romantic novels which tell the tale of glamorous love affairs. The general public is fascinated with headline news stories of public figures that have had affairs. Promotional marketing campaigns parade attractive, near naked models because “sex sells”.

The bottom line is that there is probably no ONE single reason for a person having an affair. There are usually many reasons including pull and push forces together with the influence of societal factors.