“Our destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.” Henry Miller

If you have made the choice to work at the relationship, even though it appears to be breaking down at the moment, it is important to make communication your top priority. Setting goals in all areas of your lives may help to identify where your journeys have diverged and may be a starting point for reconnection.

In order for a relationship to be fruitful and satisfying, those involved in it must set clear goals. Most people go into relationships with a vague idea of what they want out of it. When pressed, they often are unable to specify their goals for the relationship. This is a great area to look at if your relationship is nearing breaking point but both parties wish to try to save it.

Goals can be stated or written, but they should be agreed upon by the partners at the beginning of the relationship, or in this case, at the beginning of the repair of the relationship. Goals sometimes are documented in a behavioural contract format and signed by both partners similar to the above exercise of healing your relationship.

The goals stated should be only those on which both partners agree and can claim ownership. The relationship goal contract should be kept in a safe place and reviewed annually. During the annual review the goals can be modified, and the objectives to be achieved for the next year can be identified. Relationship goals should be long range, but they should be general enough to give the partners latitude. Annual objectives based on these goals can be more specific and short term, motivating the partners to successfully achieving them within the year.

Relationship goals should be developed to cover key issues involved in the relationship, but they can cover any area of human behaviour.