Looking After Yourself

Victims of domestic violence describe the experience as exhausting and emotionally draining. Many victims continue to blame themselves for the abuse long after they have left the relationship. For this reason, constructing a new life can take time and energy. The victim needs to gain confidence and get on top of things.

Answering the following questions is a good exercise to assist you get on top of things:

Whenever I feel abused or controlled by others, I can tell myself…
Whenever I feel low in confidence and self esteem, I can speak to…
If I feel inclined to return to an abusive situation, I should…
Other things I can do to help me feel stronger are…

There are a number of things that you can do to help you recover a sense of safety, control and self worth including:

1. If you have moved house, make sure you have good locks on the doors.
2. If you are in the same house, change the locks on the doors.
3. Apply for a DVO (domestic violence order) if you are being stalked or threatened.
4. Talk to a Domestic Violence Counsellor.
5. Renew friendships with old friends, and make new ones.
6. Spoil yourself. Set aside time (and money) if possible to do things you enjoy.
7. Accept that your recovery will take time.
8. Grieve the loss of the relationship before entering into a new one.