Infidelity is increasingly becoming one of the most common relationship challenges in romantic relationships.  The acts of infidelity or cheating can have devastating consequences on those involved. Having been cheated on can result in anguish, depression, fury and humiliation (Brand, Markey, Mills & Hodges, 2007).

It has been suggested that infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce and romantic relationship breakdown (Brand, Markey, Mills & Hodges, 2007). Click here to read more about infidelity…

With infidelity come consequences. Many people are impacted. If we were to step outside and look in for a moment, we may be able to see just how many people are affected. Firstly there is the betrayer. He/she has learnt to be an actor in order to not be suspected.

After being found out, feelings of shame, guilt, despair and confusion are evident. In most cases, the betrayer is forced into making a quick decision between two relationships. With that choice come huge impacts for the betrayer, including many of the losses described by the person betrayed. Click here to read more about the consequences of infidelity…

One of three events occur after the discovery of an affair. For some, nothing changes in the relationship and the affair is either ignored, denied, repeated, or continued. The affair can unfortunately also end a relationship depending on the intensity and length of the affair and the values of the parties involved.

For others, the occurrence of an affair can signal a reassessment of the existing relationship and provides an opportunity for change, growth and a more improved relationship. Click here to take a closer look at these options…

Finally, how can counsellors assist clients move forward after adultery? It all starts with re-building trust and re-establishing an effective communication channel. Click here to read more about Lin and Craig’s case study…

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Anxiety is most often considered a problem if it occurs when there is no real threat or when the anxiety response is disproportionate to the threat being faced. However, when there is a real situation or stressor to deal with, the anxiety level might actually be appropriate.

Appropriate levels of anxiety activate the organism to prepare and act. Therefore, in some situations, extreme levels of activation may be appropriate. Appropriate levels of anxiety can facilitate a person to prepare well for an exam through motivating them to etch out time to study while having them alert enough to study productively, stay focused and remember well.

Appropriate levels of anxiety can also act as a gauge to clarify how threatening or dangerous a situation might actually be. In this context extremely high levels of anxiety may actually represent a realistic emotional response to a very threatening and dangerous situation.

In many instances, people with anxiety disorders will often worry about appropriate levels of anxiety presuming it is either inappropriate or unproductive. They may find it difficult to differentiate between those times when they may feel anxious for a legitimate reason and those times when their anxiety may be disproportionate or unnecessary. Often this is because there is a fear that the anxiety may become uncontrollable.

Specifically,  the daily role of the fight or flight response is to increase  our mental alertness to deal effectively with the types of life events and stressors we often encounter in our day, like taking an exam, dealing with conflict at work, driving in peak hour traffic, preparing a presentation, setting boundaries in relationships and a range of other things.

Anxiety, at the right level, is vitally important as it activates us to perform well and meet the demands of life events and stressors because it increases; our alertness, our ability to think clearly and our ability to respond optimally to such things.

Because some level of anxiety is required for effective responses to life events and stressors, too little anxiety would make life events and stressors too difficult to deal with, because we would not be motivated to prepare and we would not be activated to perform at a level adequate to meet the relevant demands. On the other hand though, too much anxiety will decrease our capacity to deal with such things optimally.

This relationship between performance and the right level of anxiety explained above is illustrated below.

The Relationship between Anxiety and Performance

As anxiety levels rise, performance increases due to the arousal of the mind and body. However once anxiety reaches excessive levels, performance decreases dramatically. Where the point of excessive anxiety is depends on the stressor needing to be faced at the time and other personal qualities and attributes of the individual experiencing the anxiety.

The Catastrophe Theory

The Psychology of Optimum Experience

The model in the “Catastrophe Theory” image above identifies an individual’s mental state during a given life experience. The three realms of possible metal state in relation to the organisms level of activation in dealing with presenting stressors are; Boredom, Flow Channel, and Anxiety.

Csikszentmihalyi’s definition of flow is based upon the balance between skills and challenges. The models of flow try to account for all possible combinations of high and low skills and challenges that can result in the broad spectrum of responses between heightened levels of anxiety and more subdued levels of boredom.

Click here to watch Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s TED Talks video on Flow (19 minutes)

Anxiety is identified when a person perceives the challenge (or threat) as being high while their skills to deal with such a challenge (or threat) is perceived to be low. Thereby the more challenging or threatening the stressor is and the lower the skill level is in being able to deal with it… the higher the level of anxiety will be. Boredom is identified as a perception of being high skilled but with a low level of challenge or threat from the stressors. Boredom can be defined as a state of relatively low arousal and dissatisfaction, which is attributed to an inadequately stimulating situation (Mikulas and Vodanovich, 1993).

A key feature of flow is when an activity features an appropriate balance between the stressor challenge and the skill level required from the person to meet the stressor challenge effectively. If the challenge or threat of a situation is perceived to be too great for the person’s skills then they will eventually become frustrated, lose interest, discontinue from being in flow and instead move into a relative degree of anxiety.

This may eventuate into becoming too anxious and quite fearful if the challenge or threat is too great in comparison to their skills in dealing with it and if the consequences of failing to deal with it are considered significant. Flow will also cease if the challenge of the activity is too low and is too easy whereby it stops being interesting and boredom results.

Source: www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au

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Have you ever imagined what your life would be like if you had a professional, recognised counselling qualification… and what that qualification would mean for your future?

With your recognised counselling qualification you’ll be ready to take on exciting new job opportunities (increased government funding is creating many new opportunities) or enhance your current role to take advantage of future promotions. Or maybe you’d like to set up your own private counselling practice and experience the many personal and financial rewards that working for yourself provides.

Whatever you’re imagining, it’s all possible with a qualification from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors (AIPC) - the largest, longest established, and most trusted counselling education specialist in the country. Here’s why:

1. Flexible Learning Methods. You can study Externally (at home with phone and email access to our counselling tutors), In-Class, Online or any combination… all the time fully supported by our huge national team throughout our 8 Student Support Centres.
2. Premium Education Support. AIPC sets the benchmark in education support. Even if you decide to study entirely at home or online, you’ll never be alone in your studies. We have specialised in external education for over 19 years and have the most highly qualified, professional support team in the industry. Help is only ever a phone call or email away. Our enormous pool of educational resources means you have access to:
1. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to the online Knowledge Base that contains over 4,000 specific questions and answers relating to your course.
2. FREE access 9am to 5pm (EST) to the 1300 Study Assistance Line where you can discuss any study questions you may have with qualified team members.
3. Unlimited email support. Send a question any time and have your enquiry replied to within 24 hours.
4. Your local Student Support Centre who will link you into a local student support network; help you prepare for your practical assessments; co-ordinate your In-Class or tutorial activities; and set you up in a number of volunteer opportunities if you wish to practice your skills in the field.
5. FREE and regularly updated online educational resources including our newsletter, Blog, Article Library and Facebook & Twitter pages - with 100’s of articles, news & resources.
3. Specialised Training. The Institute is the largest and longest established trainer of Counsellors in Australia, and still is the only exclusive, national provider of Counsellor education.
4. Cost Effectiveness. With the Institute you can achieve your aspirations in counselling for only 20% to 50% of the investment of other providers.
5. Industry Recognition. The Nationally Recognised Training Program Diploma of Counselling is recognised by the Australian Counselling Association (ACA), Australia’s largest Member Association for Counsellors.

Want to find out more? Visit www.aipc.net.au/lz.

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Coleman (n.d) suggests ten (10) barriers to the ethical problem solving process. They are:

1. Lack of knowledge of Ethical Standards
2. Financial Incentives
3. Perfectionism
4. Fear of Criticism/Scrutiny by Others
5. High Affiliative Needs
6. Personal and/or Professional Immaturity
7. Counsellor Substance Abuse
8. Lack of Personal Values Clarification
9. Limitations of Codes of Ethics and Conduct
10. Lack of a Decision Making Model

Lack of Knowledge of Ethical Standards

Society is fast paced and ever changing. Counsellors are obliged to remain committed to ongoing learning and development within the profession. This includes continuing awareness of relevant ethical codes and standards. 

It also incorporates knowledge of legal standards and laws. Ignorance is not a defense. Counsellors can overcome this obstacle through personal commitment to professional development and maintaining professional memberships. 

Financial Incentives

1. Ethical dilemmas often present in the form of gifts or rewards offered to the counselor either directly by the client, or indirectly through an agency.
2. A counselor may justify the acceptance of such gifts/rewards by undervaluing the monetary value of their role.
3. Coleman (n.d) considers that counsellors rationalize this behaviour by telling themselves that they are underpaid and deserve it.
4. This barrier often inhibits the counselor at the beginning of the ethical decision making process stopping them from adequately clarifying the problem.
5. Reaffirming the reason for entering the counseling profession may assist the counselor in overcoming this obstacle. 

Perfectionism

1. A large barrier at the implementation stage of the ethical problem solving process is the counsellor’s fear of not making a good decision.
2. A counselor may become over concerned with ‘doing the right thing’, so much so that they are unable to put the decision into practice.  Coleman (n.d) proposes that counselors acknowledge that there is rarely one ‘right’ choice and to look beyond self. 

Fear of Criticism/Scrutiny

1. No one likes to be criticized and counselors are no different. 
2. It is however, inevitable that the decision taken will not be popular with all. 
3. To overcome the fear, a counselor needs to accept that the choice they have made is the correct one for the situation and that not everyone will be pleased. 

High Affiliative Needs

1. This barrier often accompanies perfectionism. 
2. Many counselors have a need to be liked and ethical decisions may not always be popular. 
3. This need can leave the counselor open to manipulation. 
4. Personal awareness can help the counselor overcome this barrier. 

Personal and/or Professional Immaturity

1. Coleman (n.d) identifies immaturity as acting impulsively without any conviction. 
2. Immaturity involves acting on and implementing decisions that satisfy the counselor first, often without any consideration to the client.   
3. The use of an ethical problem solving model can assist in conquering this barrier.

Counsellor Substance Abuse

Stress within any profession can lead to substance abuse, counselors too are vulnerable. The counselor who acts under the influence of alcohol or other substances is putting themselves, their client/s and the profession at harm. Counsellors need to be aware of the effect personal issues may have on themselves, how it transcends to their professional life and how they deal with said issues (Corey, Corey and Callanan 2007).

Lack of Personal Values Clarification

1. Commitment to ongoing professional growth is facilitative and required. 
2. Counsellors also need to be dedicated to personal development and knowledge of self/values. 
3. As with professional development this is an ongoing reflection.  
4. Failure to do this could result in the counselor becoming stuck and lacking the maturity to undertake sound ethical practice.

Limitations of Codes of Ethics and Conduct

Stein (1990) identifies a number of limitations pertaining to ethical codes. They are:

1. Written in broad, general terms not specific to any one particular situation.
2. Can conflict with other Codes or regulations
3. Reactive rather than proactive
4. Silent or blind to some situations/problems
5. Vital to remain alert to the Ethical Codes offered by professional memberships and acknowledge limits. 

Lack of a Decision Making Model

Decisions that are made impulsively fail to acknowledge the extent of the dilemma and the process.  A clear structure to follow means that the decision made is more likely to be ‘morally acceptable, clinically appropriate and suit both the client and the counsellor’s interests’ (Coleman, n.d., p9).

In summary

1. Barriers exist to the ethical decision making process.
2. These barriers may be due to the agency a counselor works for or barriers within the counselor themselves
3. Barriers may be overcome through (a) continual counselor self reflection, (b) ongoing awareness of professional ethical codes, (c) solid application of a systematic decision making model.

Source: www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au

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Taking up further study can be a very exciting time as we take a step forward in our personal and professional lives. As we challenge ourselves to develop new skills and knowledge, a new framework to work from, and a new field to master, many of us embrace the role of student with both enthusiasm and anticipation. However, it is not uncommon for most students, at some point in their course, to also experience a heightened level of anxiety. During these more difficult times it is important to keep things in perspective.

Everybody experiences stress in their lives from time to time but it is the way stressful situations are perceived and dealt with that can determine one’s learning experience. Stress can be a positive thing as it gives us the drive and energy to focus, take action, and achieve our goals, but when the stress goes on for too long, it can be overwhelming.

Stress affects everyone differently and it is important to recognise how it may impact on you. Students experiencing stress, often report experiencing:

1. Nausea, stomach aches, headaches
2. Feelings of anger, sadness, or nervousness
3. Fear of failure, fear of the future or unknown 
4. Feeling overwhelmed, confused, worried
5. Trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, or relaxing
6. Excessive tiredness or fatigue

Often when we are feeling stressed, it is difficult to know what to do and quite often we end up responding how we think we should respond, rather than listening to ourselves. When we begin to feel like the assessments are building up, when it is difficult to know where to start, or you feel like you are just not getting it, this is the time to become proactive. There are things you can do to manage your stress and stay motivated:

1. Avoid isolating yourself and talk to someone about how you are feeling. Make use of all the study assistance that is available to you.
2. Identify the cause of the stress. Determine the things you can change and the things that may require time or help from others. Large problems can often be broken down into smaller problems such as breaking an assessment piece into smaller parts.
3. Take care of yourself and prevent the negative impacts of stress worsening – pay close attention to your diet, exercise and sleep patterns. Physical activity can clear the mind, release anxious energy and improve sleep. Make sure that you make time for these things in your study routine.
4. When confronted by a stressful situation, make a conscious effort to slow down. Take ten long breaths and try visualising the word relax. Avoid letting your mind getting stuck on one idea and challenge negative thoughts.
5. Be kind to yourself and reward yourself for the small achievements!

Studying a new course involves challenging oneself, learning new ways of interacting, and developing new understanding. The learning journey of a student is full of both rewards and challenges. Keeping stress in perspective will allow you to enjoy a balanced learning experience where you feel empowered to make the most of your studies.

Good luck!

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