Beyond the Books

From elementary school through college, today’s students face an ever-expanding list of pressures, both inside and outside the classroom.

By Lynne Shallcross

It’s a good thing Jodi Mullen didn’t become a counselor exclusively for the compliments. Mullen, an associate professor and coordinator of the mental health counseling program at the State University of New York at Oswego, recalls working with a 12-year-old European American girl from a middle-class family whose presenting problem, according to the girl’s intake form, was “promiscuity.”

“Promiscuity is one of those words that means different things to different people,” says Mullen, who coauthored the book Counseling Children: A Core Issues Approach with Richard Halstead and Dale-Elizabeth Pehrsson, published earlier this year by the American Counseling Association. “In this case, her mother indicated she meant that her daughter had had intercourse with at least four boys in the last two months, and those were [just] the ones she knew about. There were actually three more, my client later disclosed, all within the last two months. My first thought was, ‘Yikes!’ I was very worried about this girl, and I wasn’t sure I could really help her. I knew I could lecture her about her behavior, but I also knew that would not be helpful [because] I am sure others had already done enough lecturing.”

It was a tough start to counseling. The girl didn’t want to talk to Mullen, draw or create anything in the sand tray. Instead, she wanted Mullen to listen to the music on her MP3 player. “That’s what I did for our first three sessions,” says Mullen, a member of ACA. “At the end of the third session, I asked if she could make a playlist or soundtrack to help me understand what the last two or three months had been like. She responded with, ‘You are so weird, and your hair is messy.’ I replied, ‘True. See you and your playlist next time.’ She ‘whatever’ed’ me, rolled her eyes and left.”

But at the next session, the girl arrived with a CD comprising 14 songs and titled “How I Screwed Up My Life.”

“We listened to each song,” Mullen says, “and then all on her own she said, ‘I am going to bring another CD next week. This one is going to be “How I Turned My Life Around by Talking to a Weirdo With Messy Hair.”’ Perfect.” The girl followed through, making the CD and doing the work that the inspiring songs implored her to do.

Halfway across the country in Texas, it’s a cautious 8-year-old girl whose growing separation anxiety eventually pushed her to refuse to go to school who sticks out in Brandy Schumann’s mind. The girl’s family walked on eggshells around her, leaving home as little as possible and hiding any changes in their schedule that might alarm the girl, says Schumann, an ACA member who runs a private practice in McKinney. When the girl refused to attend school, the family began home-schooling her.

After about 10 sessions of play therapy and a number of consultations with the girl’s parents on how to create a more predictable environment, Schumann says the girl’s anxiety decreased and she began taking more risks. “She agreed to join a social skills group, something she adamantly had refused previously,” says Schumann, an adjunct professor at Southern Methodist University who has also worked as a school counselor. “She continued to make progress, taking increased risks and seeking connection with peers.”

As the girl improved, she forged new friendships and survived stressful childhood experiences, including getting braces and having friends move away, with a manageable level of anxiety. Now 9 years old, she is registered and excited to attend public school this fall.

Simply listening and making a genuine effort to understand the girl’s feelings and situation were key to helping her, Schumann says. “I let her set the pace. I provided the environment — an accepting place where someone understood what it was like for her [and] where it was safe to be vulnerable. That facilitated her natural progression toward growth. She no longer had to adamantly refuse something in order to convey how overwhelmingly stressful something was. I also taught her parents how to provide these same qualities to her.”

From promiscuous preteens and anxious elementary schoolers to college students struggling with relationships and mental illness, counselors who work with students of any age encounter a host of complex issues. In a demanding and rapidly changing culture, school, college and community counselors play an integral role in helping struggling students overcome issues and move toward personal growth.

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Source: Counseling Today