Solution focused therapies are founded on the rationale that there are exceptions to every problem and through examining these exceptions and having a clear vision of a preferred future, client and counsellor, together, can generate ides for solutions.

Solution focused therapists are competency and future focused. They highlight and utilise client strengths to enable a more effective future. In this article, we will look at commonly utilised solution focused techniques.

Basic Assumptions

The following assumptions provide the framework on which solution focused therapy is founded:

1. There are significant advantages in focusing on the positive and on solutions for the future. Focusing on strengths and solution-talk will increase the likelihood that therapy will be brief.
2. Individuals who come to therapy do have the capacity to act effectively. This capacity, however, is temporarily blocked by negative cognitions.
3. There are exceptions to every problem.
4. Clients tend to present one side of the problem. Solution focused therapists invite clients to view their problems from a different side.
5. Small change fosters bigger change.
6. Clients want to change, they have the capacity to change and they are doing their best to make change happen.
7. As each individual is unique, so too is every solution.

Source: Corey, G. (2005). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy. (7th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

The Miracle Question

The miracle question is a technique that counsellors can use to assist clients to think ‘outside the square’ in regard to new possibilities and outcomes for the future. 

“The miracle question has been asked thousands of times throughout the world. It has been refined as practitioners have experimented with different ways of asking it. The question is best asked deliberately and dramatically.

Now, I want to ask you a strange question. Suppose that while you are sleeping tonight and the entire house is quiet, a miracle happens. The miracle is that the problem which brought you here is solved. However because you are sleeping, you don’t know that the miracle has happened. So, when you wake up tomorrow morning, what will be different that will tell you that a miracle has happened and the problem which brought you here is solved?” (de Shazer, 1988, p. 5.)

Asked this way, the miracle question requests clients to make a leap of faith and imagine how their life will be changed when the problem is solved. This is not easy for clients. It requires them to make a dramatic shift from problem saturated thinking to a focus on solutions. Most clients need time and assistance to make that shift. (De Jong & Kim Berg, 2002)

Exception Questions

Having created a detailed miracle picture, the counsellor has started to gain some understanding of what the client hopes to achieve and the counsellor and client can begin to work towards these solutions. This is achieved through highlighting exceptions in a client’s life that are counter to the problem. This helps empower clients to seek solutions.

Exception questions provide clients with the opportunity to identify times when things have been different for them.

Examples of exception questions include:

1. Tell me about times when you don’t get angry.
2. Tell me about times you felt the happiest.
3. When was the last time that you feel you had a better day?
4. Was there ever a time when you felt happy in your relationship?
5. What was it about that day that made it a better day?
6. Can you think of a time when the problem was not present in your life?

“When exploring for exceptions, be aware that such questions can be phrased to ask for the client’s perception of exceptions (individual questions) and the client’s perception of what significant others may notice (relationship questions).

Examples of each follow.

Elicit - So when the miracle happens, you and your husband will be talking more about what your day was like and hugging more. Are there times already which are like the miracle - even a little bit? If your husband was here and I were to ask him the same question, what do you think he would say?

Amplify - When was the last time you and your husband talked more and hugged more? Tell me more about that time. What was it like? What did you talk about? What did you say? When he said that, what did you do? What did he do then? How was that for you? Was else was different about that time?
If he were here, what else might he say about that time?

Reinforce - Nonverbally:  Lean forward raise eyebrows, take notes. Do what you naturally do when someone tells you something important. Verbally: Show interest. (Was this new for you and him? Did it surprise you that this happened?) And compliment. (Seems like that might have been difficult for you to do, given everything that’s happened in the relationship. Was it difficult?)

Explore how the exception happened - What do you suppose you did to make that happen? If your husband was here and I asked him, what do you suppose he would say you did that helped him to tell you more about his day?

Use compliments - Where did you get the idea to do it that way? That seems to make a lot of sense. Have you always been able to come up with ideas about what to do in difficult situations like this?

Project exceptions into the future - On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 means every chance, what are the chances that a time like that (the exception) will happen again in the next week (month, sometime in the future)? What will take for that to happen?)

What will it take for that to happen more often in the future? Who has to do what to make it happen again? What is the most important thing for you to remember to do to make sure that _________________ (the exception) has the best chance of happening again? What’s the next most important thing to remember?

What do you think your husband would say the chances are that this (the exception) will happen again? What would he say you could do to increase the chances of that happening again? Suppose you decide to do that, what do you think he would do? Suppose he did that, how would things be different for you…around your house… in your relationship with him?” 

(De Jong & Kim Berg, 2002, pp. 302-303)

Scaling Questions

Scaling questions invite clients to perceive their problem on a continuum. Scaling questions ask clients to consider their position on a scale (usually from 1 to 10, with one being the least desirable situation and 10 being the most desirable). Scaling questions can be a helpful way to track coachees’ progress toward goals and monitor incremental change.

“To use these types of questions, the therapist begins by describing a scale from one to ten where each number represents a rating of the client’s complaint(s). The therapist might say, “On a scale of one to ten, with one being the worst this problem has ever been, and ten being the best things could be, where would you rate things today?”

Once a therapist is given a number, he or she explores how that rating translates into action-talk. For example, if the client rates his or her situation at a three, the therapist asks, “What specifically is happening to indicate to you that it is a three?” The next step is to determine the goals and preferred outcomes. To do this the therapist asks the client where things would need to be for him or her to feel that the goals of treatment have been met or that therapy has been successful.

We aim for small changes that will represent progress in the direction of goals and preferred outcomes.” (Bertolino & O’Hanlon, 2002, pg. 4)

Examples of scaling questions include:

…You said that things are between a 5 and a 6. What would need to happen so that you could say things were between a 6 and a 7?

…How confident are you that you could have a good day like you did last week, on a scale of zero to ten, where zero equals no confidence and ten means you have every confidence?

Presupposing Change

When clients are focused on changing the negative aspects (or problems) in their lives, positive changes can often be overlooked, minimized or discounted due to the ongoing presence of the problem.

The solution focused approach challenges counsellors to be attentive to positive changes (however small) that occur in their clients’ lives. Questions that presuppose change can be useful in assisting clients to recognise such changes. Questions such as, “What’s different, or better since I saw you last time?” This question invites clients to consider the possibility that change (perhaps positive change) has recently occurred in their lives.

If evidence of positive change is unavailable, counsellors can pursue a line of questioning that relates to the client’s ability to cope.

Questions such as:

1. How come things aren’t worse for you?
2. What stopped total disaster from occurring?
3. How did you avoid falling apart?

These questions can be followed up by the counsellor positively affirming the client with regard to any action they took to cope.” (Geldard & Geldard, 2005)

References

1. Bertolino, B., & O’Hanlon, B. (2002). Collaborative, competency-based counseling and therapy. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
2. Corey, G. (2005). Theory and practice of counselling and psychotherapy. (7th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.
3. De Jong, P., & Kim Berg, I. (2002). Interviewing for solutions. (2nd ed). Pacific Grove, CA: Wadsworth.
4. de Shazer, S. (1988). Clues: investigating solutions in brief therapy. New York: Norton.

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Developing a business mindset means knowing how to think like a successful entrepreneur, by adopting an optimistic yet pragmatic attitude in order to make the right business decisions. Let’s look more closely at how your mind works when it comes to minding your business.

Are you a worrier – dwelling on worst-case scenarios, feeling down about your lack of success, rejecting possible ideas because you assume they won’t work? Are you a planner – making a mental list of what to do next, staying focused and motivated? Are you overly optimistic – seeing many opportunities, not able to prioritize, needing direction? Are you a procrastinator – coming up with good ideas but never feeling ready to start?

How you think about your business influences your abilities and your actions? Negative beliefs and critical self-talk hamper your efforts, while constructive, optimistic yet pragmatic thinking helps you to take big steps. Developing an entrepreneurial mind-set– the combination of thinking, feeling and sensing that is the hallmark of successful business owners– is the next step in your business education.

Counsellors often have a part of this mindset developed, but need to activate additional elements. For example, we are often very skilled at sensing, and can read subtle cues and unspoken signals. This is good and can be very helpful in business situations.

But we must also learn to use the linear, unemotional thinking that is necessary in business. Successful entrepreneurs tend to display the following six qualities in their thinking:

Given a set of challenges, successful entrepreneurs see opportunities. Counsellors face particular challenges just from being in a profession that is not well understood by those who could benefit from its practices. To deal with this, you need to see the opportunities inside each challenge and keep an optimistic yet pragmatic attitude. Can you see the opening in every rejection, the break in each obstacle?

Given a problem, successful entrepreneurs are both optimistic and pragmatic. Being a successful entrepreneur means that you can balance dream with reality. Can you stay upbeat and at the same time assess the truth of a situation? Taking right action when you are in a challenging situation means that you have the skill of combining a confident stance with levelheaded expectations.

Successful entrepreneurs expect a lot from themselves and others. They want a lot for themselves and other. Expecting a lot from others – those who work with you, be they staff or clients – means having clear boundaries around your requests with clients or staff. Express your needs and wants directly.

Expect those around you to come from the best in themselves, and hold yourself to this expectation as well. Wanting for others means that you can hold a big vision and goals for those around you.

When one of your clients sets a goal, you will support the achievement of the goal by staying interested, by brainstorming, and by celebrating when it is met, but you don’t demean the client by reminding or nagging about the goal. You are there as a very interested party for your clients to report to, but not for babysitting goals.

Successful entrepreneurs operate from a state of abundance. When you, as an entrepreneur, begin to feel that there is a profusion of resources in your environment, it is easier to hold a big vision for your clients and yourself as well. You come to believe that there is enough in the world for each client you see to have a meaningful life, satisfying work, enough money to live well, love and happiness.

Successful entrepreneurs are persistent. Business is not for the faint-hearted. It takes effort to land a contract, set up a thriving counselling practice, identify and cultivate referral sources, fill a workshop, land a training contract, get a book deal. It’s nothing personal when your goals take more effort than you thought they would. Can you find it within yourself to stay with your goal long enough to get results? If so, you have persistence.

Successful entrepreneurs enjoy making a profit. As an entrepreneur, your developmental task is to develop an adult relationship with money. You need to understand that as a business person, making a profit from your counselling practice is as much part of your job as being a counsellor.

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“What type of business to start…A good starting point in deciding what type of business you should start, or if you should consider starting a business, begins with understanding who and what you are. In a society such as ours, few people understand themselves-a fact borne out by the number of counsellors and psychiatrists employed. Most people are running to satisfy expectations and demands placed on them from the outside. They never stop long enough to spend time with themselves to get to know that person inside. To get to know that person inside generally requires a degree of isolation and quiet. Our world is one of overstimulation, where most people hide from themselves, constantly in a state of overstimulation. Surrounded by people and noise even when alone, the television, stereo, or radio are on: something, anything, to drown out the quiet.

A period of reflection and meditation in solitude to acquire a degree of personal understanding is often required before making life-altering changes. Without a sense of self, the tendency exists to continually chase that “something out there.” “I want to go into business to get rich.” “I want to make a lot of money.” Such reasoning is dangerously superficial. Begin with the right reason for you; go into business if doing so will bring a sense of fulfilment to you.

Every person brings himself or herself into business. Personal strengths and personal weaknesses within the context of a level of skill and talent will tend to create for the entrepreneur a realm of opportunity and a realm of constraints. One’s personal strengths need to be strong enough on which to base a workable business concept, and personal weaknesses must not be such that they could cause the business to fail. For some people, the entrepreneurs always knew the type of business they wanted to start.”

Source: Urlacher, L.S. (1999). Small business entrepreneurship: An ethics and human relations perspective. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Simon & Schuster.

In the next post we’ll start to investigate some of your attitudes and behaviours to help you identify relevant business opportunities. By looking at your attitudes and behaviours, we can begin to compare them to those of an entrepreneurial mind-set. The entrepreneurial mind-set may be used and/or developed to contribute to your success in the business world.

Please note: You may notice that this particular reading is talking specifically about “coaching”. Due to the similar nature of professions, the information in this reading is applicable to counselling.

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Starting any new business can be an exciting but challenging time. As a counsellor, your forte may be in helping clients make changes in their life but may be unsure of where to start when venturing out on your own in the business world. 

This series is particularly useful for those counsellors (or other mental health professionals) who are thinking about starting their own practice but have limited understanding on how to go about doing this.

There are many aspects that the counsellor/business starter will have to consider. In this series, the following topic areas will be covered to help you set-up your own business:

Assessing your own entrepreneurial attitudes and behaviours - By examining your attitudes and behaviours, we can begin to compare them to those of an entrepreneurial mind-set. The entrepreneurial mind-set may be used and/or developed to contribute to your success in the business world.

Generating business ideas and defining your concept - Business opportunity ideas are those ideas that may create profit or assets, and/or develop or advance the business.

Enjoy!

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Children with aggressive behaviour constitute one of the most common and difficult challenges for parents, particularly for young parents. To work on this issue it is crucial that parents have developed a relationship (with the child) based on solid communication and trust.

Parents must be willing to take a step back from the situation and view their child’s behaviour in context. What is unacceptable behaviour to a parent may seem logical and appropriate to a child. The key to helping a child manage their own behaviour is to teach them realistic, constructive alternatives to the behaviour habits they have already developed.

A child with consistently aggressive behaviour may be taught how to identify when they are feeling angry and then learn strategies to apply in such situations. Children, for example, may be taught to count-to-ten, take deep breaths, run around the oval or visualise a peaceful scene. Children should not be discouraged from feeling angry but rather taught how to deal appropriately with anger when it arises.

In this article, we will take a look at some practical examples of aggressive children and provide tips to deal with this challenge.

Why is My Child Being Aggressive?

Children often display aggressive behaviours, such as biting, kicking, hitting, screaming or yelling to express feelings that they find too complex to articulate. Children may endeavour to express frustration, anxiety, stress, fear or vulnerability through aggressive behaviour.

Successful anger-management involves teaching children effective alternatives to aggressive behaviour. Aggressive behaviour often becomes a behavioural pattern for children because it is inadvertently reinforced. Such behaviour is reinforced in a number of ways. The first of these is when the behaviour solves a problem for a child.

For example:

Tina and Peter (both age 4) are playing independently in the sandpit at pre-school. Tina is playing happily with one of her favourite toys, the yellow tip-truck. When Peter notices Tina having so much fun, he decides he too would like to play with the yellow tip-truck.

Peter makes a beeline for Tina and promptly snatches the toy from her grasp. As she struggles to pull the toy back, Peter whacks her with a sand rake. Tina becomes upset and starts to cry. The pre-school assistant hears Tina’s cries and quickly bundles her off to first aid; thus leaving Peter free to play merrily with the yellow tip-truck.

In the scenario above, it has been reinforced to Peter that aggression pays off. Enough experiences along these lines and Peter may repeatedly use aggression to solve his problems.

Aggressive behaviour may also be reinforced through parental or peer modelling. TV shows and movies may similarly demonstrate that aggression and violence lead to glory and supremacy.

For example: 

Jane is 10 years old. She has a little brother, Josh, who is 7. Yesterday when Josh was watching cartoons on TV, Jane snatched the remote control from him so she could watch her Princess Diaries DVD. When Josh tried to grab the remote control back from Jane, she smacked him firmly on the leg.

On seeing this behaviour, Dave, their father, grabbed Jane by the arm, hit her on the leg and swiftly sent her to her room.

Whilst Dave was attempting to extinguish Jane’s aggressive behaviour, he actually sent a mixed message. Dave has modelled aggression as the solution to his disciplinary dilemma. In this scenario, both Josh and Jane have learnt that aggression can be used as a method for solving problems.

Tips to Deal with Aggressive Behaviour

1. Do not become aggressive yourself. Children often model their behaviour on what you do, rather than what you say.
2. Do not try to “talk things out” when your child is still angry. Wait until a quieter moment, when the anger has diffused. 
3. When things have calmed down, discuss the aggressive behaviour. Talk about what could have been done differently to avoid the aggression.
4. Write down family rules. Agree together on what the rules will be and get everyone to sign that they are in agreement. Refer to the rules when required.
5. If there are two parents in a household, stick together and be consistent in your approach to minimising aggressive behaviour.
6. Rewarding assertive behaviour will ultimately be more effective than punishing aggressive behaviour.

Practical Activity: Comic Strip

This activity is designed to assist children in developing their ability to identify times when a choice can be made within the lead up to aggressive behaviour.

Instructions:

1. Ask the child to think of a recent occasion when they behaved aggressively.
2. Ask the child to describe what happened (in detail) leading up to the event.
3. On a large (A3) sheet of paper, ask the child to draw the lead up to feeling angry in a series of comic strip frames (complete with speech and thought bubbles).
4. Ask the child to choose a frame in the comic strip in which they could have behaved differently.
5. Brainstorm alternative ways of behaving (eg. instead of yelling at Brian, I could have counted to ten and ignored him).
6. Ask the child to re-draw the comic strip including this new behaviour and a likely new ending.

Source: www.aipc.net.au/articles

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