Comments on: Abnormal Grief

By: Mae

Mae — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 21:58:59 +0000

I went through a parent dying when I was 9. However I didn’t have the words to describe it at the time. They died in a different way. My dad had 2 personalities, one was a fake personality that was full of niceness, honesty and nuturing and caring. The fake personality suddenly disappeared and was replaced with his other real personality, evil, abusive, ect. I couldn’t let go of the first personality though and so the grief was suppressed. A trigger brought that grief up again when I was 19 and the grief turned into a roaring tiger of anger, pain and crying all suppressed. I developed PTSD. At 32 I finally got the grief out and accepted the death of the first dad. I cried experienced powerful cycling emotions for 4 months that I just wanted to die. Death comes in different ways I think.

By: Editor

Editor — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 00:22:33 +0000

Hi Jenni.

Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. We’re sure it will inspire many of our readers.

By: Jenni

Jenni — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:47:48 +0000

As a widow, bereaved suddenly following an aeortic anuerism in a seemly
healthy 56 year old partner of amost 40 years then having 2 turn off life support on the 4th day, getting our 2 grown daughters home 2 C him 4 the last time, organizing a funeral at short notice full of grief & disbelief, I can only concurr with all the above, In tears myself all over again, even after 3 l/2 years. I was overwelmingly determined 2 move on & heal well after this traumatic shock 2 our successfull life 2gether, but feel due 2 the girl’s anger (one much worst than the other compounded by their lives going on with new babies of their own & relationshiips continuing because of conection 2 their dad) that one must do the best they can, but not sure how 2 achieve that, apart from not wanting more pain 4 us all! Please put me in touch with these other lonely ladies (& men) & perhaps we can by sharing the hurtfull feelings, better move on as must we have 2 do! ThankU

By: Melinda

Melinda — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:03:22 +0000

As a single mother whose partner abandoned the family completely, leaving me to raise my daughter’s alone, I can empathize with Helen. I’d also like to add that there is a need in our society to support women in situations like mine (of whom there are many). I know from experience that support is almost entirely missing. We are left to soldier on, hold ourselves together for the kids, try to support them through their abandonment, learn to be father, mother, sole breadwinner and take over the dual gender roles on our own. There is no ritual or ceremony to allow us to grieve and no provision within society, for us to have a period of gentleness with ourselves. We are simply left to cope. The result for me has been chronic and debilitating health problems, which have only compounded and complicated the grief and guilt with more loss…and weakened the ability to function as a double-sided entity. It is true that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger; but sometimes it is a fine line.

By: Helen

Helen — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 15:20:38 +0000

Ihave been a widow for three and a half years and I also have two teenage daughters. This article covers many aspects of grief, however it doesn’t look at complicated or delayed grief from the perspective of partners that are left to raise children on their own. I have found this to be quite a challenge as well as taking on all the jobs around the house, that my husband once did including managing family finances etc. These can be huge contributors to the grief process. We are getting on with our lives reasonably well, but I so wish people would read articles like these and stop and think before they judge, the road is not an easy one but is only made more difficult when people make judgements and tell you “You must stay strong”

By: Editor

Editor — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:37:32 +0000

Hi Jan,

Thanks for the accolades!

As long as you reference the content (acknowledge its source and authors), you are more than welcome to republish our content in your website.

Kind regards,

Editor.

By: Jan

Jan — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:25:21 +0000

Great information! I also write about grief loss and I really appreciate your post for it’s straightforwardness. I just thought that your site is of great reference for me and for my writings as well.
Gonna visit this site more often for more updates about grief loss. Is it OK with you if I’m going to get some information in you site regarding grief loss and other useful information that this site provides?

-Jan

By: KAREN NEWBURN

KAREN NEWBURN — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:22:54 +0000

I have been a grief counsellor for a few years now, and no matter what you ‘think’ you know, or understand as a counsellor, there is always more to learn. I thought I understood grief after the death of my son, fifteen years ago – but now I wonder if we ever really understand how we feel.

I have just lost three significant people in my life over a four month period, and every death was different. Many multi-faceted layers of grief and pain, all tangled up together. I watch as other members of my family manage their grief in different ways. Some healthy, and some unhealthy. BUT, I have realised one ‘thing’ on my journey thus far – that there are no answers or solutions. We have to ‘own’ our pain – no way around it – just ‘through’ it.

Yes, we can learn strategies to support ourselves – but, what we really need at the time of our despair is someone near us to listen. No judgement – just to be there as we ‘vent’ our pain. Whether that be a friend, family member, or counsellor.

It’s all quite simple really. Life happens – there’s no changing it.

THANKS! KAREN

By: Donna Hodge

Donna Hodge — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:34:11 +0000

hi, have done a 10 week course through a bereavement care program in a hospital and yes everything is covered. But dont forget compounded grief. Sometimes the pile up of grief covers the person so there is no way out of it. Thanks

By: Elaine Williams

Elaine Williams — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:27:58 +0000

As a widow of four years I agree with this post. Grief appears in a multitude of forms, but sometimes it can just get out of hand, and when it goes on too long, and there is no movement forward by the bereaved, it is best to talk with a professional.