Comments on: Myths about Domestic Violence http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/ Training and content in counselling and life effectiveness Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:28:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Avril Mesh http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/#comment-187 Avril Mesh Sun, 15 Apr 2007 01:02:07 +0000 http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/#comment-187 The other issue to realise is the fact the victim loves her husband or partner and how could someone she loves do such a thing. This often leads to the victim trying even harder to keep the peace. There is also the shame of admitting you are being abused by the person you love, so victims will cover or lie in order not to expose their dilemma. The words, "You made me hit you", are comments heard by many victims. Nobody makes you do anything, you chose to react of your own free will. Blame results in not having to take responsibility. The other issue to realise is the fact the victim loves her husband or partner and how could someone she loves do such a thing. This often leads to the victim trying even harder to keep the peace. There is also the shame of admitting you are being abused by the person you love, so victims will cover or lie in order not to expose their dilemma. The words, “You made me hit you”, are comments heard by many victims. Nobody makes you do anything, you chose to react of your own free will. Blame results in not having to take responsibility.

]]> By: Editor http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/#comment-184 Editor Fri, 13 Apr 2007 04:21:52 +0000 http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/#comment-184 Well noted Kathleen. It is common the perspective that the victim should have been more "conscious" of the perpetrator's behaviour, such as his or her tendency to become aggressive. This discussion reaches other areas, such as cases of public sexual abuse. If you have read any news or commentary about recent cases of sexual abuse in public, you may have noted that a number of people believe that it is the victim's fault to have "induced" the sexual attack by wearing a certain outfit, or acting in a particular manner, for example. Although there is an element of risk in certain behaviours from victims, they do not justify any aggressive, violent or unwanted action from the perpetrator. Well noted Kathleen. It is common the perspective that the victim should have been more “conscious” of the perpetrator’s behaviour, such as his or her tendency to become aggressive. This discussion reaches other areas, such as cases of public sexual abuse.

If you have read any news or commentary about recent cases of sexual abuse in public, you may have noted that a number of people believe that it is the victim’s fault to have “induced” the sexual attack by wearing a certain outfit, or acting in a particular manner, for example.

Although there is an element of risk in certain behaviours from victims, they do not justify any aggressive, violent or unwanted action from the perpetrator.

]]> By: Kathleen Arundale http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/#comment-183 Kathleen Arundale Fri, 13 Apr 2007 03:47:49 +0000 http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2007/04/13/myths-about-domestic-violence/#comment-183 "The victim made the perpetrator do it" is another myth I've heard of. This myth creates a premise for physical violence suggesting that the victim made the abuser do it because they are annoying, yelling, or persistent in frustrating the abuser. “The victim made the perpetrator do it” is another myth I’ve heard of. This myth creates a premise for physical violence suggesting that the victim made the abuser do it because they are annoying, yelling, or persistent in frustrating the abuser.

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